Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Mmm... thanks for that, Bob

After all the drama at the weekend, I'd like to present to you some more... normal... stuff.

Owen woke up at 4.45am to cry, throw up, and generally annoy both himself and us.  All the commotion woke up our cat, Bob, who decided that this was the perfect time to bring us a 'present'.  As we settled back down to get another few minutes of kip, Bob was out hunting.  And catching.  And mauling.  At about 5am, I was just nodding off again when the rather alarming sound of a bird twittering and tweeting very close to me brought me to my senses.  Now, we had an amazing thunderstorm last night, so my first thought was that we had a hole in our roof and a bird had somehow managed to get inside the attic and couldn't find a way out again.  Anyway, it stopped shortly after and as there was no water dripping on to the bed, I figured I'd just deal with it when I got up.

The alarm went off at 5.30am and Mike got up.  Now, yesterday he had some minor surgery on his toe (more on that later), so he was kinda hobbling about and knocking shit over in an attempt to re-dress the bandage.  So he turned on the light to see all the shit he'd knocked over.  And saw instead, horror of horrors, that Bob had not only brought a live bird in to our home, but that he had chosen the spot just outside our bedroom door to play with it and kill it.  There was blood and feathers and dead bird carnage EVERYWHERE.  Bob, meanwhile, was nowhere to be found.  He was obviously very pleased with his offering and had gone off to bother some more of Wisconsin's wildlife, and we were so mad at him that we closed his cat flap and locked him outside for a bit.

That poor, poor birdie.  It's Bob's fourth present snce we've allowed him outside: three birds and a baby bunny rabbit.  The rabbit was very sad, but at least it was a swift, clean kill.  This latest one was obviously very distressing for the birdie because I could hear all its twittering as it died.  I have no idea if, had I gone to investigate the noise, I could have saved the birdie, but I think it would have been even worse.  Bob would have probably released it, and then we would have had a flying, twittering bird in our house with severe injuries.  Poor little birdie.

Stupid cat.

So, Mike's toe surgery was to FINALLY fix a problem he's had for eighteen months.  Christmas 2008 he went out in the snow to get something from the car, and decided flip flops were the sensible footwear of choice.  As the snow was coming down thick and fast, he ran back up the steps to our (then) flat, and slipped on some ice, slamming his big toe into heavy-duty concrete.  It's never been right since, and all attempts to help it heal haven't worked.  Until yesterday he had a pretty serious ingrowing toenail, and an infected site that oozed pus every day.  Well, the doctor whipped that sucker out and GOUGED OUT THE OVERGROWN FLESH that was trying to compensate for a poorly toenail, so that Mike is now left with two-thirds of a big toenail, and two open wounds on each side of the nail.  He's pretty miserable and hobbling around with one toe stuck straight up in the air.  Also, he can't wear open-toed shoes to work (oh, that he were a woman!), so he's planning some covert operation where he slides his shoes off under his desk and goes barefoot all day.  Lol.  We'll see how well that goes...

I've also joined a gym where childcare is only $1, but the free weights instructor completely kicked my arse today and I can't be bothered to type any more.  Besides, there's still some blood on the carpet upstairs and it's not like I can ask Bob to clean it up.


1 comment:

  1. And this is why you should get rid of Bob and get a puppy instead!